Page 8 was the most uncooperative little bitch. Or at least it seemed that way.
It’s a simple enough layout, three panels. The difficulty I had was there’s swift movement and dramatic perspective changes per panel. I had already learned to create my own speed and zoom lines, so showing movement is easy enough. Different perspectives, however, proved to be a more complicated problem.
The only symptoms that disable me, on occasion, are the fatigue and slowness. I’ve long since learned to pace myself and get a lot of work done during the times when I feel the most energetic. What I didn’t realize is that my depth perception has been damaged by sclerosis. I just couldn’t see, for quite some time, that my perception of different angles and depth just isn’t what it used to be.
Depth perception is such an ordinary, innate ability that humans take for granted. I took it for granted like everyone else. I didn’t realize, until I worked on this page that the innate ability to imagine perspectives, like a camera swivelling in your mind, just doesn’t function in what I knew was the normal way, as an artist. It’s one of those things I didn’t know I had until it was gone.
Depth perception is neurological. Who knew?
I got rather depressed at this point. There lesions all over my brain. I can’t do this. I’m an idiot for thinking I could do this. Give up now. Throw in the towel. There’s just no point. I can’t deal with disability and art at the same time. There’s just no way.
So for Page 8, I would work on it a little, then move on to another page. Go back to Page 8, finish a speech balloon, move to on to another page. I just worked around my damaged depth perception as best as I could.
Then came time to finalize Page 8. I had the same problem all over again. That pesky damaged depth perception. It’s like having a speech impediment of the brain. You can sound out the words perfectly in your mind, but the second you open your mouth the words come out wrong.
But wait! There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t have to have perceive depth, I realized one day. I only need to perceive how it looks to the characters. A singular depth-less perspective within art movement. Like one person standing still in a busy crowd that’s zooming all around them.
And so, I finalized Page 8 and gave my disability a big screw you.
Cottonseeds 2 – page 8 sample